Gay slang and terms have been around forever. And, given that, even they are constantly evolving into new forms and meanings. By the time of this being published, I’m sure that there will be words that I have missed. But here is an extensive beginner’s guide to the world of gay slang and labels.
Gay Slang and Terminology
Beat — Also ‘face beat’, someone with a stunning face of makeup.
Boots — A verbal exclamation point.
Busted — Messy, untidy, unorganized, disheveled.
Closeted — Someone who has not yet revealed their queer sexuality.
Coming Out — The act of revealing one’s sexual identity.
Cross-dressing — Wearing clothes that are associated with another gender.
Cruising — Looking for sexual partners in public spaces; typically, by gay men.
Deadnaming — Many transgender people will change their name to match their true identity. It is when someone, intentionally or not, uses the name they used before transitioning. This can be insulting and invalidating.
Drag Queen — A person, usually male, who dresses in clothing more closely associated with women and acts with exaggerated femininity.
Drag King — A person who dresses in clothing more conventionally worn by men and acts with heightened masculinity.
Dusted — Looking polished, put together, stylish.
Gaydar — A term used to describe the ability to detect whether someone is gay or not.
Gayborhood — Neighborhood with a high concentration of same-sex couple or individuals.
Kai Kai — Sexual intercourse between drag queens.
Ki Ki — A party, hangout, get-together, a heart-to-heart.
“Looking rough” — looking busted (see above).
NSA — ‘no strings attached’, a relationship or encounter with the understanding that there is no further commitment after sex.
PnP — ‘party and play’, a term used to describe the use of drugs during sexual activities.
Read — A catty way of calling out someone’s flaws. Can be very joking and light and used to break the ice in drag shows. Became popularized through Rupaul's Drag Race.
Rizz — Ability to flirt or seduce. Someone who has game.
Shade — A subtle sneer or show of disgust with someone. Can be a verbal display, but not always.
Snatched — The new term that replaced ‘on fleek’. Example: “Wow, your hair is snatched.”
Tea — A term that has multiple meanings depending on the context. Can mean: truth, hidden truth, gossip, secrets, etc. Coming from Black drag culture, it is a doubled edged sword, depending on if you are talking about your “tea” or someone else’s “tea”. It can be associated with “shade” or a “read” and can be called gossip when about someone else.
U-hauling — When a couple moves in together after the first date. It became popular in the lesbian cumminty.
LBGTQ+ labels:
Gay Labels:
Bear — A larger, hairier, and often older gay man.
Bottom — A gay man who prefers to receive penetration during sex.
Masc — Sometimes used to describe a gay man who doesn’t have observable “gay” traits, attributes or interests commonly associated with gay men. AKA “passing”; being able to pass as a straight man.
Otter — A thinner, hairier gay man.
Side — A gay man who does not enjoy engaging in penetrative anal sex.
Top — A gay man who prefers to give penetration during sex.
Twink —A thinner, less hairy, and often younger gay man.
Twunk — A leaner muscled, often smoother, young gay man.
Wolf — A term used to a describe a lean muscled, hairier, gay man. Usually between the body type of a twink and bear, but more muscular than an otter.
Versatile — or ‘Vers’, a term used to describe a gay man who is open to both giving and receiving penetration during sex.
Lesbian Labels:
Butch — An often, more masculine identifying lesbian.
Chapstick Lesbian — A lesbian with a masculine-leaning appearance.
Fem — A person whose appearance and behavior are seen traditionally as feminine.
Lipstick Lesbian — A lesbian with a more feminine-leaning appearance.
Masc — A lesbian woman who has traditionally masculine qualities. AKA ‘butch’.
Pillow Princess — Someone who prefers to receive sexual stimulation more than give it.
Stem — AKA ‘soft butch’ — a lesbian who exhibits some stereotypical butch traits without fitting the masculine stereotype associated with butch lesbians.
Stud — A Black lesbian who is typically masculine in appearance and demeanor.
Switch — Someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles. Aka ‘vers’.
Takeaways
Gay slang has many roots. Some are found in a re-owning of words that were once slurs or derogatory where others are found in the read-between-the-lines gray-area that the LGBTQ+ community has had to evolve and grow in.